When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Chuck Norris to live in the White House.
As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
e acho k por hoje já chega
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